The other day I received a cartoon by E-mail from a cousin. Dead centre is Daffy Duck, on the left the caption “My mind doesn’t just wander’, on the right another caption “Sometimes it Fucks Off completely”. Well I started to laugh so hard and long that I nigh peed myself. After I stopped I thought “Jeez Mo has pegged me good” which started another burst of laughter. Even as I write I’m chuckling thinking about it.
The cartoon struck me because there are times I swear my mind is out orbiting around Charon and if that ain’t F’ng Off I don’t know what is. Now I have facetiously written a few times about forgetting where I put things or forgetting to do something and maybe it has cause a few chuckles from those who read it but there are times when I wonder if this isn’t the start of some bigger problem. It has been suggested that I go to the doctor and have it checked out but I am of the old school that thinks what I don’t know it can’t hurt me. Anyway I have to be practically dying before I go to my Doctor. Peter, my Doctor of 33 years sure hasn’t gotten rich off of me even with O.H.I.P. also every time I go there he gives me shit for something, usually for smoking. It is now at the point that when I do see him the first thing he asks is “quit yet” answer “Nope” followed by “what’re you here for” and we get down to business.
One has to remember that I am approaching 70 (18 days) and I have a lot of information stored in my brain. So it is understandable that I can’t access it as fast as I use to. When I say a lot of info I mean a lot of info. I am an avid reader especially History. I love History so much that my family warns me when they take me to see movies like Braveheart or Troy to keep quiet and don’t criticize while everyone is watching because it is embarrassing. Wait till we get home. They don’t know how hard it is to bite my tongue. Anywho to get back to the wandering mind. I once told my boss she was nuts when she said that my oldest daughter use to live in apt. #303. I told her no way she lived in 503 and then 604. Guess what she lived in 303 and for the life of me I can’t remember. I think though, it is because there was no paper work as it was a verbal agreement between the boss and her. I remember 503 ,and 604 because there was a written rental agreement and her sister lived with her. Now I have always had problems remembering names, faces no, and boy can that be embarrassing. Especially if it’s a woman and you happened to have slept with her. That’s when you look for a place to hide. Preferably under a rock. There was one tenant years ago who moved and I happened to run into her a year or so later. Couldn’t remember her name but I remembered her O.K. Not from her face but because the Gods had been very generous with her when it came to feminine endowment. I know, chauvinistic as hell and I should be horse whipped. My only excuse is I couldn’t help but notice. Hell they came around the corner 5 seconds before the rest of her. Also in my defense I remembered to ask about her husband and kids.
On a more serious note. I do believe that my forgetting is just a sign of getting up there. If, and I say if, I am on the road to dementia or Alzheimer’s then somebody please euthanize me as I do not want to spend the remainder of my life not knowing my girls. I might have done a few things in life that I’m not proud off but nothing so bad for the Fates to punish me like that.