WHATEVER

ONLY IN AMERICA

This morning in the Toronto Star I read an article entitled “America: In Guns We Trust”, and to be honest I shook my head in utter disbelief when I finished reading. According to this article when you step off the plane in Las Vegas you are met by a large billboard saying  “SHOOT A REAL MACHINE GUN” it is an advertisement for “The Gun Store” which for a price will let you fire a machine gun. For the price ranging from $25.00 to $777.00, depending on the package you want, you get to fire a semi-automatic weapon, which technically is not a machine gun but close as damn it to being one, depending on how fast you can pull the trigger. Full automatics are illegal. All types of people line up for this , so far 100,000 have paid their money and expended 12, 000,000 (Million) rounds. Why? The owner says because “It’s Cool”. Even children as young as six are allowed to fire the weapons as long as they are accompanied by an adult. If this isn’t proof of a nation in love with guns and violence, then what is. You  let any 6 year old fire a weapon like that, they’ll bug their parents’ for one for their birthday or Xmas. Oh! I forgot, this is their right and when the kid grows up and shoots someone the parents will congratulate him/her for their marksmanship.

How about a new prayer for the Americans that goes like this : “I believe in the Father, COLT, the Son, REMINGTON, and the Holy Spirit, SMITH & WESSON” or how about “I hold this Truth to be self evident; I can blow your ass away whenever I want to because the Constitution says I can”. Is it any wonder the weapons crime rate in the States is so high and why there are so many mass shootings. Any whacko can legally buy a semi-automatic with a computer background check and a 120 day waiting period. You see adds on TV about “What happens in Vegas. Stays in Vegas”, well something like this doesn’t stay it’s taken home. For a self proclaimed Christian Nation they sure as hell don’t believe in turning the other cheek or “Thou shalt not Kill” they should all turn their bibles in and replace them with the membership rules of the N.R.A. The Olive branch should be removed from their great seal and replaced with an assault rifle and instead of an eagle it should be a vulture.

The United States was born in violence, lives with violence and like most empires will likely die in violence. The problem with it dying is it will take a lot of others with it,  especially their northern neighbour on the continent. Most other peoples in the world have difficulty distinguishing between Canadians and Yankees. We look alike and we talk alike. I know of what I speak because I have been in many countries and inevitably I am mistaken for a Yank. Which, to be honest, really pisses me off. Guess though when you look at it from their perspective if it looks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a duck. Well we are not a duck. We are a Goose, a Canada Goose.

So for all the wanna be mass shooters in the U.S. take a trip to Vegas and starting at $25.00 you can get some practice in handling the machinegun of your choice. After all practice makes perfect and if you shoot enough people you’ll make it on the national news, maybe even the world news. 

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