Woke up this morning wound up like a clock, and I think it is the codeine I had to take last night to get to sleep. My leg decided that it would be a good time to act up and the pain and throbbing started with a vengeance. Normally when that happens I take two T-3, Tylenol and it lets me get to sleep. Last night it was four. Each T-3 has 30mg of codeine and it took 120mg instead of the usual 60mg just to get the pain to a point where I could sleep. So this morning all that codeine along with my cup of caffeine has me wound up like you wouldn’t believe. Even the boss pointed it out saying “what the hell the matter with you slow down”. I told him maybe it is because we are close to a full moon. I also think part of it is that I found out that a person that I felt sorry for and helped for quite some time turned out to be a liar and a thief. I am so angry about this that I said to the boss ” you know I don’t believe in heaven and hell but on this occasion I hope there is a hell and that bastard burns in it for eternity” I don’t mind helping people but when they screw all over me and take advantage I get pissed off real bad. Some people who know me will say that it’s my own fault because I’m too trusting and chances are they are right but I guess it is just part of my nature. Makes me feel kind of good when I help someone.
As I have been writing this I am starting to wind down. I think that 1/2 hour break I took and went outside for some cool air has helped flush a lot of the dope out of my brain. Actually starting to feel normal. Back in 1969 while I was a patient on a Navy Hospital ship I got hooked on Demerol as I was getting about 6 shots a day, seemed every time I moaned I got am arm full. After a week I was transferred to an Air Force Evac Hospital and they cut me off. That hurt, but there is also a comical side to it as now if I have to get a shot of Demerol I tell the nurses to get a pail as I am going to throw up. They always ask are you allergic and I say no but in about 15 to 20 minutes after you give me that stuff I’m going to throw up. Some don’t believe me and they have to clean up the mess. What happens is when I get the shot I get very light headed and my stomach rebels and if there is no pail then there is a puddle on the floor . I keep telling the nurses that maybe next time they should listen to me. Twice I’ve had Morphine and both times it was a good thing they had a sheet covering me or I would have floated away. I think I was about five kilometres short of attaining orbit. I remember thinking “Hey this is Great, can I stay up here. “. Alas I awoke with the full force of gravity pinning me to the bed and wondering why I feel like crap.
I’m always in pain with this damn left leg of mine because of nerve damage but thankfully most of the time I can handle it. Only when it gets so bad that it won’t let me sleep do I grab the T-3s and that’s maybe twice a month. Which is a damn good thing as I know I would get to like the codeine too much. I understand how one can become addicted to them.