I gotta get outta here. It has finally happened, I’m going crazy. After 17 years the tenants have finally broken me down and I’m becoming a babbling idiot . Case in point, last Sunday night. At mid-night my phone rang rousing me from a deep sleep at the other end a tenant all shook up because her carbon-monoxide detector started periodically chirping, not beeping, chirping. When a detector chirps it means the battery is dying which I explained to her. I told her not to worry pull the battery out and I would come in the morning and change the battery. An hour later at exactly 1:00 a.m. the phone rang again at the other end the same tenant. It’s still chirping and it’s scaring me so I told her again to pull the battery out and that as she lived on the 2nd floor there was no way that any carbon-monoxide was in her apartment as there is nothing there that can produce it, said goodnight and hung up. Now I am not making this up because 5 min. later the phone rang again this time with her babbling about she was scared in case her TV or Fridge started producing poison gas and it could kill her. That was the straw. I told her Jesus E___ you worry about the stupidest damn things . Your TV or Fridge cannot produce Carbon-monoxide pull the battery out and stop calling me I will be up in the morning. She called yesterday complaining that here vanity sink was plugged. This is the 3rd time this year that her sink has been plugged and it is always the same thing. Soap. Yep soap. The P.Trap and drain pipe are  plugged solid with soap. I swear she pours laundry detergent down the drain eventually filling the pipes full.  In the winter time she will call at least  once a weak complaining it’s her apartment is cold. I go up and usually find either one of the widows or the balcony door opened. We  supply fridges and stoves and she got a brand new one 3 years ago. Within a week she complained that it smelled. I went up to check it out couldn’t smell anything but decide to exchange the Fridge with another new one. You guessed it. She said it smelled and this time she was going to buy her own Fridge. Which she did and lo and behold within a week I got another call telling me her Fridge smelled. I told her sorry but that’s not our problem as it was her own Fridge and she would have to call the store where she bought it and complain. I finally figured out what she was complaining about. It was the smell of vinyl as the fridges are made from it and it wears off after a few days.

That is just one example. I get tenants complaining about trucks going by on the street and even when an ambulance has to come to the building because someone is sick or injured. I had a tenant die and another one say to me “did she have to do it here”. Yeah like just a minute I’m going to die so I’ll just go do it in the park. When there is someone moving in or out a notice is posted in the elevator 3 days in advance as to the date, time, and duration the elevator is in service. It also states that if you need a ride to your floor just asked and the people moving will take you up. Don’t do no good. I still get complaints. How about the tenant who called the police and told them that I had walked in on her while she was naked. Never happened as the boss lady was with me and we knocked on the door and the tenant let us in. That evening 2 Constables showed up at my door telling me about the complaint. Once I explained what happened one of the Constable said “We figured that. She isn’t all there is she”. I had one tenant complain that the young newlyweds who moved in above her were doing “The Horizontal Mambo” to much and it was keeping her awake. What the hell did she want me to do, throw a pail of water on them? Personally I think she was jealous and I told her so.

In the 17 years I have had this job I have been sworn at, spat on, shoved, doors slammed in my face, a tire on my van slashed, and threatened with physical violence. I think it’s time to really retire. I have my name on the waiting list for a Seniors Residence and as soon as I get the O.K. I’m gone.



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