I’m DEAD. The human body cannot possibly feel this bad and still be alive. I do hope the Cold/Flu Family that took up residency some time during the night is quite comfortable and happy. Getting settled in, arranging things to their satisfaction,  you know making a nice home for themselves. I wish though that they would stop the renovations in my head as the constant hammering and banging is getting quite annoying. As to the plumbing system, the rotor-router guy can leave any time,  there can’t possibly anything left to clean out.

There must be an unwritten law that unwelcomed microbes are to show up at the most inconvenient of times such as when you have a big job to do and not much time to get it done. I think they send out scouts searching for the best location and time to invade. They are masters of the sneak attack and it wouldn’t surprise me in the least to learn that they studied under Sun Tzu. They always seem to attack at night when the body is sleeping and its’ defense system are lowered. You gotta admit they are smart little buggers. Once they establish a breach they storm through like the Golden Horde fanning out and taking no prisoners. Hell they can put a man on the Moon, send robots to Mars, and build a Space Station. why can’t they cure the common cold or flu. Why can’t some brilliant Boffin invent and produce Nanites to attack the little and kill them. Like the Calvary charging to the rescue in those old Western Movies.

When it comes to a cold or flu we men are big babies, but it’s not our fault. It’s our Moms’. When we were kids and got sick it was Mommy who looked after us and made things better our Florence Nightingale, Angel of Mercy, and after when we left home and married our wives took over the duty. If you had or have a wife that does that you are one lucky person. Most modern wives just look at you and tell you to suck it up and get to work. Ain’t progress a bitch? I only feel that way right now because I’m sick and I want my Mommy. Boy what I wouldn’t give for my Mom to  come to the rescue with the jar of Vicks and a mug of Chicken Soup. Bundle you up in warm flannel P.Js, wool socks , and tuck you up tight under the blankets. Best of all, keep you home from school. Well it isn’t going to happen, I’m all grown up  and I have an apartment waiting for me to get ready for the new tenants.

To-night I will have Chicken soup for supper,  take a hot bath put on wool socks and flannel P.Js. crawl into bed with an extra blanket and drink some Neo-Citran in the hopes that the combination  will supply enough re-enforcements  for my army of anti-bodies to defeat the  foreign devil invaders. If that doesn’t work I will look for someone I am not overly fond of and see if I can’t pass it on. I know, I know,  I’m a miserable “Old Fart” when I’m sick. Look at it from my side. Someone passed it on to me so why shouldn’t I share it. After all one shouldn’t be selfish should one. 


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