I am starting this on New Years’ Eve, won’t finish it though until sometime on New Years’ Day if then. Reason Why? I feel like death warmed over as I have either a bad cold or the flu. It doesn’t matter which as whatever I have is kicking the crap out of me. Right now I am in one of the periodic moments where I’m feeling like I’m alive and not laying in a grave waiting for the dirt to be shovelled in. Earlier to-day if someone had shot me I would have thanked them for putting me out of my misery. Right now I think my cold just became the flu as the waves of nausea are starting so it’s time to quit for awhile and go lie down.

The above of course was on the 31st of December and it is now the 4th of January and a short time ago I came home from the Hospital where much against my will I was residing. You see it wasn’t the Flu or a Cold that was kicking the crap out of me it was a Heart Attack, my third in ten years. Hell of a way to enter the new year with the Grim Reaper copiously drooling as he hovered about my transport gurney. Bet it really pissed him of when he was told my number wasn’t up yet. Did  the exact opposite for me. Now there is only one person who carries the blame and responsibility for my Heart Attack and that is the smoking idiot who is writing this.  For those out there who have been warning me go ahead and gloat and get your “I told you so” out of the way , I deserve it. I guess it is true there is no fool like an old fool especially one who thinks he can handle the smoking and that all the bad stuff will happen to others. Well the count now stands at three strikes, 1  foul ball, and two strikes next strike I’m out and I am not ready to “shuffle off this mortal coil”

It is going to take a day or two for me to write this as I am still a bit weak from all that has happened so it is going to look a bit like a Journal or Diary . I can promise this it will not be too dull or morbid and you might even find it funny in part. The reason for the humour is it helped to mask my anxiety and in some cases mild fear. One other thing that helped me was the constant thought of my Daughters, no way in hell was I ready or willing to leave them yet. Now to put some sense in how events leading up to my heart attack we have to go back to the morning of the 28th of December 2012.


That morning I woke up with my throat feeling like I had gargled with Draino and I was chilled to the bone. I thought “bloody hell” this is all I need is another damn cold. As the day wore on I realized this was going to be a whopper and sure enough by the next morning it was full blown and I felt like hell, coughing, sneezing and freezing. I just could not get warm. By the time Sunday morning rolled around I wanted someone to shoot me and end my misery once and for all. It was also on Sunday that I began to think I had the Flu instead of your common run of the mill cold. Sunday night, which I thought would never come, I bundled up in my Flannel P.J.s ,wool socks, my housecoat, threw an extra blanket on the bed and burrowed under the covers hoping to sweat the damn thing out of my system. New Year’s Eve morning I woke up feeling just like I had the day before maybe even worse but I had some things to do that day so I got up and dressed and started my usual routine. That afternoon I had to go out for awhile and believe me if I hadn’t had to go I would’ve crawled back into bed. Returning home after my errands I lay down on the couch for a bit but soon I was back on my feet still feeling horrible but also bored. This was around 5:00 p.m. so I decided to start writing and I managed to get the first paragraph finished  when the nausea hit. Violent nausea accompanied by pain running from under my left eye down to my finger tips and in my chest. That is when the realization hit me that I was having another heart attack so I called 911 then my daughter. By the time the Para-Medics got here 15 min. later I was in bad shape the first one in the door said you do not look too  good sir, i told I feel even worse. So within a few minutes I’m on the gurney out the door heading for the Ambulance and it’s off to the Hospital and whatever awaits me there.  

To be continued.



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