Everyone who writes knows that there are certain grammatical rules to follow and that spelling is of the utmost. Well I know sometimes my grammar isn’t up to par and according to the spelling correction program in my computer I can’t spell. Hey the damn thing was programmed in the U.S. and you people don’t like double vowels. It’s not my fault I learned to spell correctly it was you people that changed the language . Give me a break. O.K. that rant about spelling is over what’s next. Oh yeah fore I forget my son-in-law was born raised and educated (including University) in CANADA and he insists on spelling the Yankee way. Boy does that p–s me off when I read his Blog.
I know my grammar sucks at times but even in English class I had trouble with all those rules. Any way as the saying goes “Rules are made to be Broken” and sometimes my “Henglish she is Broke”. I don’t know what a dangling participle is and don’t really care as long as I get my point across. As far as run on sentences go , well that’s why the guy who started all this invented the comma and I like commas. Being naturally lazy I also like contractions it’s a lot easier to write “I shan’t do it” rather than “I shall not do it”. Actually “I ain’t doing it” is even better but for the fact that it gives one the impression that the writer is low-browed. If there is one thing I am not is low browed as my brow goes all the way to the back of my head. In the summertime the mosquitoes use it for a landing strip and at night if I walk to close to an observatory I get arrested for light pollution. O.K. so I’m short, fat , bald and ugly, but I can’t help it as it is in my genes. I’m also past 3 score and 10. Had to take my shoes and socks off to figure that one out. I also looked score up in the dictionary. I was surprised that it meant more than the number of goals you got in hockey.
There is a famous or should I say in my opinion infamous ex-Canadian person who is lauded as being a master of the English Language. I will admit he is good. Hell some of the words he uses I can’t find in the dictionary because I don’t know how to spell them. Of course maybe he uses them to enhance his reputation as a master so us common folk (serfs) will be awed by what he is saying. Sometimes I will, when stuck for a word, revert to the second language I speak fluently. Yes I am fluently bi-lingual, English and Profanity. It is amazing how a few choice profane expressions grab ones attention. I look at it like this. If you can’t get a jackasses attention with a carrot use a damn 2×4. Works every time. It is said that the use of profanity is a sign of low intelligence. That maybe so but I am willing to bet that even the Einstein’s of this world have reverted to it on occasion. It can be so damn descriptive.
What I have been trying to convey in this little dissertation is that one does not have to be 100% correct in grammar or spelling as long as one is “GETT’IN’ DE POINT ACROSS” but then what do I know as I’m just an old retired fart that has nothing to do but rant and rave and poke fun at all and sundry.