Most of us have heard the term “Getting Old Sucks” well take it from someone who is on the backside of 70 it really does. Boy does it suck. Each morning I awake to a new ache or pain or some part of my body trying to shut down because it doesn’t want to or feel like working anymore. In a mere 20 days I will commence my 72nd year on this planet as I turn 71 and surprised as all hell that I have made it to this far.

So 30 September is my 71st birthday and to be honest at this moment I am starting to believe that someone lied and I am actually turning 171 as the mirror reflects the image of a short overweight balding grey haired old codger who is missing all but 5 of his upper teeth, wears glasses and hearing aids and in general looks like a semi ran him over then backed up to make sure it didn’t miss the first time. Mercifully 95% of my scars are hidden from public display.  That’s just the outside. Inside it’s a bit worse but I refuse to be one of those old folk that sit around discussing their medical history and all their various aches and pains. The only thing I will say is that 9 months ago I quit smoking after 56 years and my lungs are in a lot better shape now and getting better each passing day. I don’t sound like a stem jenny any more when I breathe.

The thing that bugs me about getting old is that my mind is still convinced I can do all the physical activities I use to do. My body on the other hand screams “What are you nuts or something? Are you trying to kill us? Oh crap that really hurts I gotta lie down.  Sometimes it just quietly whispers “I think we died and are too stupid to realize it”. Another thing I have noticed as I progress along the path to extinction is my tolerance for Hot Weather is declining rapidly, especially when the humidity climbs higher and higher. The colder it gets the better I like it except for that disgusting white stuff that falls to turn to dirty slush or find any chink in your clothing where it can sneak in and melt.

Jeezus; listen to me I’m starting to sound like a lot of other “Old Farts” I have encountered over the years. Guess it comes with the passage of time and the slow but inevitable decline in one’s mental acuity. Personally another big bug-a-boo about aging and retirement the constant threat of boredom as one’s routine is abruptly changed when the time comes to finally admit that you can’t really work anymore. Luckily I managed to hang on until I was approaching 71. It is a bit of a shock when you wake up one morning and are faced with the fact that you do not have a job anymore. No bosses telling you what to do or argue with, most disconcerting. Sorta knocks the wind out of your sails.

I used to joke about retiring to Bora Bora and lay naked on a beach under a Palm tree drinking Coconut milk. REALITY is a seniors’ apartment building in Burlington which is less than a third the size of my old place. OH! How dreams can fade. My chance of getting to Bora Bora will occur the day after the Earth is swallowed by a Black Hole. Of course there is the theory that Black Holes are a gateway to another reality. If so cool. Maybe I should offer sacrifices to the Fates that the Earth gets swallowed real soon. Oh well let’s face it, it is all wishful thinking the ramblings of an “Old Dreamer” who in all honesty isn’t that displeased with how he lived his life. It has been rather fun and at time damn scary but it is all grist for the mill and I hope when the time comes to shed my mortal coil (in about another 100 years) the Fates over look my transgressions and dwell only on the good things I have done. That is if they can find them.







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