Grousing

I’M MOVING TO MARS.

Frozen Boots

I’M MOVING TO MARS.

This is Canada and it’s winter so everyone knows it’s cold, right. Well there something wrong when according to NASA it was warmer on Mars where the rover Curiosity is parked than it was in all of Canada and the northern U.S. on Thursday. At its’ closest point Mars is 35 million miles from Earth. It has as very thin atmosphere and yet on Thursday this little robot scooter was warmer than we were and they say that climate change is a fallacy.
Now with no exaggeration I figured it was cold on Thursday because I swear I saw a Polar heading down the street to Good Will to buy a fur coat. You know that has to be cold when they are looking to get warm. On Thursday my neighbour was waiting for the painters to touch up her kitchen and they couldn’t do it because the paint was frozen. The forecast for this Saturday is minus ten with the wind chill making it minus 20. For all those still stuck in the U.S. system that’s 4 below. When we were young 4 below didn’t bother us but as one grows older the body tends to lose its’ capacity to retain heat or at least that sounds right. Hell all I know is it gets bloody cold around here lately or as one of my lady friends is fond of saying “it is F—ing cold”. In fact within the space of 15 minutes the other day she said it 5 or 6 times. There wasn’t a bar of soap around so she got off scot free.
I was looking at the monthly weather forecast for January and there are only 2 days where the temp. gets into the plus column, 2 days of +1 and 7 days of 0. I do not consider 0 on the plus side. What Feb. will be like is anyones’ guess. Last summer (2014) was the hottest summer on record for Canada and by the feel of it this is going to be one of the coldest winters. I have always wanted to go to Bora Bora, I know it’s a pipe dream but just thinking about it makes me feel warmer. Warm tropical days laying on a beach drinking coconut milk watching all the young beautiful bikini clad femmes strolling by. Nice dream but reality is I am sitting here in my apartment and it is -10 outside with the wind chill making it -20. And spring is still 2 months away. I’ve been places that arte colder in the winter but I was a young man so I could bear it now that the years have crept up I do long for the warmth. Speaking of bear there goes that Polar Bear again and this time he’s got the family in tow heading for Good Will

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One thought on “I’M MOVING TO MARS.

  1. Like your Mars Boots…believe you’ll need more than those! The “Farmers’ Almanac” may give you good advice…but right now…wait for Wiarton Willie on Groundhog Day to give you a spring prediction…you might change your mind!

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