WHATEVER

WHAT’S NEW.

Condemned bldg

4100 2015/10/03

WHAT’S NEW.

It has been some time since I wrote anything on 4100 and you will note that I removed the Warehouse part of the title. It offended a few people who read my postings and I see where it might have. No offense was ever intended.
Things have been happening around here what with people coming and going. Some have taken their final trip and others have moved to long term care and some have just moved to what they claim are better residences. There are still one or two that should in care facilities but are still here. They either suffer from Alzheimer’s or a mental illness. One of them has almost started a fire twice by leaving a pot on the stove until it boils dry and causes the smoke alarm to go off. The residents who have mental problems exacerbate their condition by not taking their medication and as a result they say or do some weird things. Of course that could also apply to the writer as at times I do some weird things just for fun.
Those who read my posting know that I ride an E-Scooter as I don’t own a car. Well I just traded up to a new one. This one named (The Beast) is an 80 volt where my last one was only 60. The new scooter is lighter and 10kph faster than the Hurricane. This is my forth one and very well will be my last. Hey! Like my oldest said I’m still in my first childhood and having FUN. Anywho enough on me.
4100 hasn’t had any drastic changes. The Temptress is still here and still going to the mall and coming home with bargains. Pretty soon she is going to have to either get rid of some of her cloths or talk Housing in to making her closet bigger. Another friend got her first med-scooter and it is a pretty neat little thing. She asked and got a small one so she could get on the bus with it. A friend who shall remain unidentified went to a male strip club and seemingly had a blast. Something about a private lap dance. OK! I told her that as she goes to church that ole St. Pete would be marking that as an X on her record. Well at least she had fun. That’s the problem with young folk when it comes to us seniors. Just because we pass 65 doesn’t mean we lay down and wait for the undertaker. Most of us have lots of get up and go and like me intend to have fun. When the guy in black robes and a big scythe comes calling he’s getting a boot and told to come back when I’m good and ready. (WHICH WILL BE NEVER IF I CAN GET AWAY WITH IT).

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Ministry of Truth (1984)

censored

MINISTRY OF TRUTH. (1984)

The other day I made the mistake of disagreeing with one of the lady tenants and I was told by her that I was off her list. It seems she has a list of people she will talk too and if you interrupt or disagree with her you are removed. For a brief second I thought I was standing in front of the Pope being excommunicated again. That’s OK as I self-excommunicated about 50 years ago. So here I stand exiled, proscribed and banned from communication with this person who seems to have delusions of aristocracy or at the very least the upper crust. I am putting this to paper before I am sentenced to Room 101.

At my age I have little or no patience with those who would put on airs and believe themselves to be above the common crowd. Everyone who resides in the building is retired and the rents are low and geared to income. It is community housing for all us Old Farts so this individual is in the same boat as the rest of us. There are only two places we can go after hear long term care or the cardboard box to the incinerator. These hoity toi hoi polio just don’t cut it with me. The really ironic thing about all this that it was a trivial disagreement on a historical note. Now I have been told by many people that I am very knowledgeable about history and I pride myself in this. This individual said something that I deemed historically wrong and I told her that I disagreed. Wrong thing to do. I think if she could have called the Palace Guard she would have ordered me beheaded. OUCH. So to this individual I am now persona non grata, a leper to be avoided at all cost. I am doomed to spend my remaining years mumbling to myself locked in my gloom in a one bedroom. O Father Zeus delay not over long in dispatching your Harpies for this Cretans soul and deliver me to my allotted place in Tartarus. Hey that’s a pretty elitist ending. Eh!

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Uncategorized, WHATEVER

4100: HANGING MY HAT.

Maple Leaf 1

4100:
HANGING MY HAT.
I have now resided at 4100 for 14 months and I guess the old adage is correct “Home is where you hang your hat”. Unless some unforeseen incident occurs this is my home until that final move into the unknown. I guess in actuality that isn’t so bad, after all I have met new friends and acquaintances and perhaps a few who do not like me that much. Hey that’s life isn’t it?
Here at 4100 we have as would be expected for a seniors’ apartment building a wide variety of individuals a hodgepodge of our society. I believe our tenants range from 65 to 95 in age and some are damn spry for being in their 90s’. We have a few cliques and gossips, recluses and loners. There are the angry and the cheerful. There are the shy and the gregarious the clannish and the religious, and a Pantheist, some would say clown. All in all a cross section of society. There are Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean, Egyptian, Russian, Portuguese, Dutch, Scots, English, and South Africans, a regular United Nations. The people come from all walks of life and many professions, Nurses, a Chef, Bus Driver, Auto Parts man, Retired Constables, and of course yours truly the “Not Resident Genius.”
After 14 months the place is starting to grow on me (I hear a good fungicide will take care of that) and I am resigned to my fate of spending my twilight years here. By the way that is not Twilight as in the “Twilight Zone”. If I’m lucky (I hope not) I’m good for another 20 years that will put me up to 2034. The most I could do is 2042, GODS forbid that would make me 100. If I could hang on to 2056, (unbloody likely) I could be here when Zephrem Cochrane invents the Faster than Light Drive in Star Trek. OH Boy! I gotta stop snorting the Windex.
There are a few tenants living here who should be in a place where they can be taken care of. Some have Alzheimer’s or Dementia, and some have psychological problems but so far they have not been a threat to themselves or others. Then of course there is the writer who is a complete nut bar and should have been carted off to the funny farm years ago. Guess they haven’t got a butterfly net big enough. As I said above the place is growing on me but before I become part of the fixtures in a few years I think I might just go along being the crackpot clown from the 3rd floor. Hey Guys the sideshow is free.

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GOING NUTS, WHATEVER

THE RAZOR,(WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION)

There seems to be a conspiracy aimed at me. It is in the form of what can only be called nagging and it relates to my not shaving as often as those who comment think I should. My answer is a resounding “TOUGH”. When I was in the Army I had to shave every day sometimes twice a day and of course when I was married it was the same situation. Well now that I am retired (Old Fart) single, unattached, and not on the hunt I will shave whenever I feel like it or if I have to go somewhere on an appointment or special gathering. Tis my face and I will scrape it when the itch gets unbearable. Also remember every time I shave I destroy the home of millions of mites and other microscopic creatures that take up residence in my whiskers. Sometimes I feel like a mass murderer.
The disposable razor, Weapon of Mass Destruction, which can be bought at any pharmacy or corner store. It is such an innocent looking weapon made in both the male and female variety’s with very little to distinguish between them with perhaps the colour. When first introduced the Mk1 had but one blade which was quickly followed by the MkII, III, and IV each successive mark adding blades and improving on its’ capability to mow the whiskers from ones face. Now what took 5 or6 stokes to accomplish takes only 2 or 3. Along with this new efficiency come greater killing power to eradicate whole populations of mites and whatever other creatures abide within the bearded face.

Picture if you will a normal day in Mite Ville population 20 billion or so, lovely place with lots of trees (Whiskers) and a plentiful food supply of dead skin cells. Now in this serene setting are millions of families with Daddy, Mommy, Billy, & Susie living their day to day lives without a care or a worry? With the exception of the odd quaking and rustle of the trees life is good. Then one day a white foamy mixture falls upon the landscape and the kids think this is great something new to play in. The poor little things don’t realize that this white foam is the prelude to disaster the forewarning of a disaster of such magnitude it boggles the mind to even contemplate it. You see behind that white innocent looking foam is the Weapon of Mass Destruction the likes of which they could not think of, not even in their wildest dreams. The Razor. This one is blue and has two cutting blades so sharp that the slightest pressure is all that is needed for them to rain devastation upon Mite Ville. As the ground (skin) quakes and the trees fall by the hundreds all a mite family can do is hold on and hope that the monster will pass. Alas it is not meant to be, the mites by their billions are uprooted and then washed away in a series of Tsunamis’ the likes of which they have never seen. Some by in ‘the red tide that can follow as the wielder of the razor nicks his flesh and the blood begins to pour. After the Weapon of Mass Destruction has done its’ work the last of the Tsunamis hits followed a rough scouring of the landscape then a blistering evapouration of any residue including the bodies of the dead and dying. What was once the peaceful borough of Mite Ville now is a barren wasteland. Wait though as hope does spring eternal for within a few hours of this holocaust life begins to reassert itself upon the landscape and new trees start to rise and with them the birth of a new generation of mites. Alas the cycle repeats itself every few days and for some everyday.

So dear friends ends my tale of destruction. This tale and its’ consequences is the reason I do not shave every day because carrying the burden of such total annihilation weighs heavy upon my spirit and I endeavour to prolong the life of our little microscopic friends for as long as possible.

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SO FAR IT’S BEEN WORTH IT.

I have a tenant who we will call “G” who is dying of lung cancer. It is only a matter of time and his daughter informed me to-day that he will be going to a Hospice which specializes in end of life Palliative Care. G is a wiry tough old bird  in his early seventies who is a retired Bell Lineman. He moved in just over three years ago and , to me at least ,has always been a friendly pleasant chap. I really don’t know much about G other than he has at least one son and daughter and he worked for Ma Bell. I guess the reason I’m writing about him is he is the second tenant this year who has passed away or will shortly and  both in their seventies and that’s where I am. To tell the truth I am surprised that I have made it this far because there were a few times when I fully expected to meet the Grim Reaper. The last time I went under the knife to have a ruptured Femoral Artery repaired I remember saying to myself just before I went out you are not waking up from this one David. I was the most surprised patient in that recovery room when I heard my oldest daughter telling me to wake up. Couldn’t believe it. I remember thinking later that I must be one rotten S.O.B. because as they say only the good die young. Guess the Universe still has some use for me.

When you see people you know in your own age bracket start to pass away it sort of gets’ you thinking. It is almost an involuntary reaction as you start examining  your life and how you lived it.  I am neither Saint nor Sinner just your average Hominid, getting by. It has been all in all a pretty average normal life. I’ve done some traveling and had a few adventures. Loved and Lost. Fathered two beautiful daughters which are by far my greatest of achievements. I have read an awful lot of books; REALLY AN AWFUL LOT OF BOOKS.  You see I have this addiction to History. Son-in-law says I should have been a Historian/Professor but I chose a different road to go down. Maybe the next time around I will. That is if I have any say in the matter. The Universes’ priorities might not be the same as mine.

It is an undisputed fact that when we are young we think we are immortal and thinking such we sometimes do some pretty stupid things. It is amazing that as we age we seem to look before we leap. When I look back and think of some of the situations I got myself into it is surprising I’m still here. Take the fact that at age 24 I join a foreign army engaged in a war and go off to fight. I not only do my one year in combat I volunteer for an extra year. Never finished the full second year as I got badly burnt and had to be evacuated. The best thing that came out of that was I met my ex-wife got married and we had two daughters. Now here I am in my seventieth year and my parents and all but one aunt and one uncle are all gone. So far none of my cousins  have passed away and anyway as I’m the oldest I’ll more than likely be the first.

I constantly make jokes about death and dying. Why not I’m not afraid and it is inevitable. You know what they say about death and taxes. They’re a fact of life. My employer gets worried if I don’t call her every morning Monday to Friday. I tell her not to because if I die I’ll phone her and let her know. She still worries. Hell why fear or worry about it,  there’s nothing you can do to stop it. I mean I’m not looking forward to it mainly because my life is pretty good and I’d like to hang around a bit longer just to piss off any enemies that I may have. There is also the fact that my Mom use to say I was going to burn in hell and to be honest I don’t relish that as I’m not a hot weather person. 

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THE SINK

My oldest daughter decided she wanted the sink in one of her bathrooms changed because the enamel had chipped and it was rusting so she asked old Dad if I would help her husband replace it. Because I was getting a free meal  (my oldest is a great cook) I jumped at the chance. Now I have changed every Vanity sink in the  building I manage so I can practically do it in my sleep. Well it must be the fact that I was in a strange environment , her house, because what should have been a routine job turned into a comedy of errors and screw ups.

The project started with a trip to Home Depot ( never have figured out how they get Depot out of (DE  POT). I know it’s French. My son-in-law “G”. picked me up at my place around 4:20 pm and off we went heading for the Home Depot on the way to his place. Crossing 12 Mile Creek, (Bronte Creek) we head west towards Burlington turning north on Great Lakes Blvd. which merges with Burloak Rd. It’s called that because half the road is in Oakville and half in Burlington. Kind of makes sense. So far so good ,as we arrive at our first destination park the car and enter the store. Now this is only the second time I have been in this Depot as I use the one in Oakville 99% of the time, so I’m lost. I don’t know didelly squat where anything is. Now you would think that being the super franchise that it is all the stores would be laid out the same way. Yeah O.K who am I kidding. After searching for awhile(I’m getting ready to call Search and Rescue)  we find the bathroom sinks and get what we thought was the one we needed. We read the label on the shelf and the numbers matched what my daughter had found in the internet. Should’ve read the carton. One would think that as we were in the area where the sinks and bathtubs were that the plumbing supplies would be close to hand. No, they it ends up are at the other end of the store. Which according to my calculations was half way to Montreal. I am 5’7″ but when we left the store I had lost an inch from wearing my feet down walking all over the place.

O.K. we have gotten what we need and it’s off to the house. Upon arrival after saying Hi I ask which bathroom because there are 3 of them,2 upstairs and one on the main floor. I am hoping it’s the one on the main because my legs do not like stairs. Guess what? It’s the small bathroom upstairs. By the time I got up there my legs were calling me every profane name in the book. Why can’t they build houses with escalators?  I have now arrived at the job site and proceed to remove the old sink and the first thing I discover is that there are no shut off valves under the sink and we have to turn the water off in the whole house. This will not happen again as luckily I had 2 small valves in my tool box and they are now installed. This is not the end with the valves. Now the first of the screw ups happens. I ask “G” to go down and slowly turn the water back on so I can check for leaks. I don’t know how it happened but while looking for signs of leaking I managed to hit the handle for the cold water valve getting blasted right between the eyes with a stream of water under pressure. I thought I had been shot by a water cannon. I also hit the back of my head on the underside of the vanity top. My daughter who is in her bedroom doing something hears the commotion and comes running asking what happened and if I’m O.K. It is then that she sees the mess. There is water dripping from the ceiling, running down the wall and mirror, all over the vanity top, and her father looks like the cat that fell in the toilet. All I can say is “Sorry”. It is also at this time that she notices that we have the wrong sink. Like I said “should’ve read the carton”. Although she didn’t really get angry methinks she was not to happy. She must have been thinking that the Keystone Kops had invaded her house. Anyway “G” packs up the sink and returns it for exchange. In the mean time I clean up the mess and take the faucets off the old sink only to discover that because I have installed shut offs the faucets will not fit now. Poor “G”, he just returns from the store only to find that he has to go back to get a new set of taps. By this time I am convinced that this job is cursed. Somebody up there doesn’t like me and I’m being punished for all my past transgressions.  Finally “G” returns and I install the taps and sink hook everything up with no further mishap and it’s time to eat. All’s well that ends well and the beef stew was excellent. I know though that at some point in the future this little incident will be brought up in conversation and “Old Dad” will be the butt of a few comments all said in jest. I hope. Anyway I’m an electrician not a plumber.

 

 

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NEXT YEARS TARGETS

As the New year approaches, just 21 days, I am contemplating what I will Grouse, Muse, or Opinionate about over the next 12 months. The Circus Maximus, (American Election), is over and that source of targets has retreated for another 4 years. Of course the Yanks, their politics and culture are still available. Then there is my favourite bugaboo, Religion, in which there is never a shortage of topics to pontificate on. In the past year I have pretty well stayed away from commenting on Canadian Politics, but methinks that is about to change. One always looks for greener pastures until one realizes that there is a very fertile plot of land right under your nose. It has to be admitted that politics in Canada does have some ripe topics and characters within its’ folds, such as the 10 Premiers and their cronies. Of course the real source of grist for the mill is  Parliament. Not the institution but the numbskulls that get elected to sit there. Of course we cannot forget that illustrious “Body of Second Sober Thought”, The Senate. Now if there ever was a target worthy of siege it has to be the “Upper Chamber”. The “Old Boys Club’ for political hacks has long outlived its’ day and should have been relegated to the dustbin years ago.

We all know that in Parliament there are 3 main Political Parties, The Conservative, who govern, Her Majesty Loyal Opposition the N.D.P.(New Democratic Party),and the Liberals (who got their butts kicked in the last election)  and each has plenty of Benchers worthy of criticism if not outright ridicule. It is also common knowledge that our Parliamentary debates use to have some decorum, but it seems that since the Conservative have gained power that decorum has gone the way of the Dodo. Both the debates and Question Period have become rather rancorous. Add that to the fact that the Harper Conservatives are less open with information than any previous government has been. It could almost be said that the Conservatives are as open to attack as the American Republicans are. Hell they even have some Evangelicals within their ranks. Unfortunately so far they have not provided much fodder as they seem to stay in the background. Every now and then though one of them just can’t stay quiet and lets loose with some foolish absurd comment.

No political system is perfect. Some like ours when applied properly are more perfect than others. When misapplied or abused then it is time for the People to say so and if necessary remove the offenders from office. I for one will be voicing my opinions one way or the other. I am not a political expert but I do know when something smells or doesn’t sit right and I intend to say so. Actually because I was so enthralled with watching and reading about the U.S. Election I missed a few opportunities to critize  some of the screw up of the Conservatives and the elections in Quebec with the old nemesis the P.Q. back to make things miserable for the rest of the country.  Come the New Year I will definitely be paying more attention to what goes on in our Fair Land. Just to make things clear I do not like Stevie and his Boys but I will try to be unbiased by making all party screw ups fair game.

 

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